Dear New Bagel guy,
Words cannot express my joy at arriving at work this morning to discover that the bagel you presented me with had actually been cut into 2 pieces of equal thickness. It was a true pleasure to be able to place my bagel in the office toaster confident in the fact that I would not end up, as I have so many mornings, with one thick, chewy, practically untoasted half and one thin, toasted hard-as-a-hockey-puck half. Thank you so much for you diligence in performing correctly what is essentially the only task required of you. I only wish your crooked-bagel-cutting colleagues would follow your shining example. Keep up the good work. Love, Zil
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